Noir Detective

Winters must be the most appropriately named town in the world. When I caught my first glimpse of it I thought I was looking at a snowglobe, every black cloud for a hundred miles seemed to hover over it, spitting down on it with large white globules of snow. When I was almost there, just past The Great Lake, my tyres skidded on some black ice, locked up, and sent me into the side of the road. The mechanic that picked me up, Mr Grizzle, wasn't very helpful, kept saying over and over how strangers always fell for that spot, and that until the snow calmed down some, they couldn't tow it to town. My car has been by the side of the road now for almost a week. I always regret taking the small town jobs.

I found a room fast enough, the mechanic was kind enough to point me in the direction of The Willow Inn. I dragged my suitcase inside and admired the animal heads on the walls and the wonderfully garish carpet as I shook the snow from my mac and hat. After six rings of the bell she popped up. The old bat had been down there the entire time.

"Yes?" she said. It sounded like I was putting her out and I hadn't even opened my mouth yet.

"Ah, hello, m'am, I'd like a room." "How long?" "Well, I'm not sure to be honest, my work-" "You don't know how long you're staying?"

She looked down her nose through her glasses and I felt like gripping the old bitch by the throat.

"No, m'am, I don't know how long-" "Well, how the hell am I supposed to work with this, I need to know how long a man'll stay, I have a business to run here, y'know?" "I can compensate you for any business lost, m'am. If you're particularly busy at the mo-" "Well, I am busy! You can't just walk in here off the street and expect a room, this isn't a goddamned soup kitchen!" "Well, I did make reservation. I phoned ahead two days ago." "Name?" "Mills. Raymond Mills." "Humph!"

I was gritting my teeth so hard I think I cracked a tooth.

The old lady, Mrs Weatherby, allowed me into my room after she had grilled me good enough. It was hard to tell who exactly was the detective in that situatuion, I felt like I should hand her my P.I. license and my gun and start answering the phones at the inn instead. She's a tough old bird.

The room was good enough. A fair sized bed, a desk, a modest bathroom, a chest of drawers for my clothes, and a window looking out onto the highstreet. There wasn't much in the way of shopping, or anything else for that matter, but Cedar St had an old fashioned charm to it that more than made up for it. I could look out my window and see all those twee shops reaching out, way down to the Augustine River on my left, and on my right the mountain framed the street beautifully.

As soon as I reached the large iron gate, it swung open and swept away all the snow in two slow arcs. When I reached the door at the end of the drive, that opened too, effortlessly, and a cloud of thick white smoke billowed out and dissipated in the cold hour. This place was running on full automatic.

I stepped inside, a little apprehensive. The place was huge, pricey. I stood in front of a large wooden staircase with a red carpet that stretched so far up I could barely see where it ended. I looked down at my feet and saw a heap of dirty snow that I'd trodden into the house. I was glad when a voice in the distance called me away.

"Detective Mills, please, take a seat." This woman was awfully sure of herself. She didn't even look up when I entered, she just waved her hand at the wicker chair in front of her and carried on reading her magazine.

"Thank you, 'm'am. I have to ask though, how did you know it was me? I didn't call to tell you I would be here yet." "Mrs Weatherby thought it best to let me know," she said, closing her magazine and resting it on her lap, "We're quite a tight knit community round here you know."

She smiled and it was like stretched plastic. I tried not to stare at the lipstick seeping into the cracks around her thin lips.

"I see," I said, "Well, it's nice to see a town with a heart." "Oh, we have plenty of that, detective."

That smile made me shift in my seat. I pulled my tie loose and tried to pull myself together.

"Well, let's get down to business Mrs Nazir. You said this was urgent, and it's costing you a pretty penny for me to be sitting here right now. I take it you didn't have me come over 200 miles for a missing pet." "Oh, no, detective. I'm afraid it's more complicated than that. I think my husband has been murdered."